Performance Pieces

It's the word Perform that really jumps out. The typeface is similar to the one I am using now.
Perform. Just the word fills me with anxiety. What if I don't live up to expectations? What if I fail?

Beneath the word Perform,on the right, in a smaller font and in a typeface that puts one in mind of a 70's
science fiction show called The Six Million Dollar Man, is another word.

This word is Wellbeing.

Wellbeing. Am I healthy enough? Am I sufficiently hale and hearty? Possibly I am not sprightly and limber.
Perhaps fungi is multiplying in my various nooks and crannies. Surely one or more of these conditions must apply to me.

This brace of words, this typographical exhortation, makes more sense when the words are discovered in their natural habitat.
They are part of the graphic design of the point of sale unit known as a condom machine.

I come across these things on a regular basis in the bathrooms of various pubs and supermarkets although it has been a while since I actually operated one.

I usually ignore them and kind of sidle past when I exit the toilet. Furtive and fraught, that's the way.
Machines these days seem a little more racey than the ones of my youth.

Three products can be purchased. Apparently, these objects will enable me to Play Hard. Possibly even
All Nite Long.

These items are, from left to right, condoms of an allegedly and excitingly superior quality.Then we have a vibrating penis ring. Finally there is herbal performance enhancing tablet. The text is reinforced by a reddish image of a photogenic couple looking fondly at each other. "Fetch the vibrating penis ring, darling, and I'll get the performance enhancing herbal supplement."

There is another nightmare associated with these wall based dispensers of sexual efficiency. You never know if the machine is empty or even working. It is a question of trust. You put pound coins in the slot. Quite a lot of pound coins if you want the truth. Then you press the relevant button.

Naturally the machine refuses to dispense. So you tentatively tap the side. Nothing. So you look for an exit point where your returned pound coins should be. Nothing.

So, you give the machine a shake, just to encourage it to either vend or cough up the money. AND THE ALARM GOES OFF.